All Around Me
by Yukibara
Summary: Yuffie Kisaragi, a girl battling her own darkness, stuggles with the insane mercenary that seems to hate her one minute and comfort her the next. What's she to do when shes completely in love with the one who hates her the most? rating uped
1. Chapter 1

HI everyone this is my first Kingdom hearts fanfic and i would just like everyone to know that i have read every possible clouffie there is to read, so i know the ropes pretty well. But as a warning for those who like to think Yuffie is weak and other derogitory terms which i will not name...you can just leave now. I wont accept any flames, but i will accept constructive critisism. Who doesnt? :) But in this, i want people to see yuffie in a new, brighter and yet at the same time a deeper more sensitive light. So, flamers and yuffie haters beware cause u arent welcome here. This story will probably be very different from the ones you have all probably read, because it starts out in the present but it is in diary form...basically yuffie is writing about all of her views on the world and her feelings for everyone she loves, especially Cloud. Well, whoever is reading this, thank u very muchies and R&R please! Oh and the lyrics to the song before each entry is a symbolic meaning for the story. But think of them as bookmarks of sorts, its not singing.

The Present

"Where's my will?

Can I find a way?

The earth is wild,

and i can't sit still.

A familiar sound,

A familiar voice,

Makes it so hard...

to make a choice,

I dont know if I should stay..."

I sang desperately despite how my lungs burned from the lack of oxygen reaching them. Thankfully, the rain covered up the fact that I was crying endlessly. It hurts I'll admit, but I can't find any other way to cope with the pain. Singing always seemed to help, this time it didn't find a solution to my problems...a solution to my life. I needed this, I can't do pain anymore. It hurts too much, every look, every feeling, all of the pain _he _caused me. I'm leaving Radiant Garden, this is the only way. I'm sorry Cloud, I can't live with this pain anymore.

"My hands are searching for you..."

December 18

The rain...it seemed to always wash away everything I needed it to. It made me feel clean. It was as if the rain washed away my sins, everything I've done wrong, everyone that I had stolen from, every bad feeling I had pushed on someone, everytime I displayed weakness, everyone I hated that hated me for hating them, and everyone I had ever loved that could never love me back- my father Godo, the family I had always wanted and desperately needed but never quite had. Leon- MR-I-HAVE-A-STICK-UP-MY-ASS, he always saw the girl on the outside and never saw the woman within.. But that's always the case, isn't it? ALWAYS! Whenever I was with Leon, I always felt like he never trusted me enough, throught our friendship it's been totally like...you're just a teenager who happens to be a overconfident, overbearing, and annoying ninja brat. He's always made me feel eight instead of eighteen.

Then there's the one person that I love now, Cloud Strife, or in this case "Spikes", "Chocobo Head" "Cloudy" or "Stupid Spikey Chocobo Head." I hate that I love him, love everything about him - his mysterious demeanor, strikingly good looks or the one simply tiny fact that he's DROP DEAD GOREGOUS! But other than that, I hate myself for loving his meanie butt. He's never ever like emotional, AT ALL...kinda like Leon. But yet, Cloud shows his emotion sometimes...I can see it in his eyes. His wonderfully beautiful crystal clear deep oceanic pools. Unlike Leon, however, Cloud aknowledges people somewhat, sometimes he actually answers my questions! Thank gawd someone does or I'd probably go insane...hmm, yep I most definately would. To be honest, I have no idea how I fell in love with Cloud...it just happened I guess. In some aspects, I think maybe I regret it and in some I don't. But I would never ever take it back. From Cloud, I've learned soo much from him, even though he may not know he taught me it. :) Funny right? He always hated the nicknames I gave him...but he never asked me to stop and in some weird way it gave me a boost of confidence. Maybe that was the beginning, maybe it was the end. I never really knew to be honest...I was the only one he'd let call him everything I did. I think his favorite was Spikes...boosted his manly ego...ha! If he only knew, if he only knew.


	2. Chapter 2

hi guys I'm really sorry this is so short, its like super short. But because these are diary entries some of them may be this short. Most of them no, but until the climax happens its only gonna be yuffie writing about everything thats going on around her and to her in her little diary.

"My hands are outstreched towards you..."

January 5

Dancing, dancing, dancing...that's all my life really is -gracefully (I'm only clumsy sometimes people need to get that straight) almost feverishly moving from one step to another. But when I'm near Cloud time just stops. He makes me feel like I'm on cloud nine...no pun intended lol...but with just one look, which is usually a glare or two. lol One learns to deal with such things, ooo now I sound like Merlin. He makes me feel emotions that I never thought I could possibly feel in my entire existance, you know? Pretty pathetic, huh? I'm in love with a guy who is in love with my bestfriend, who is in love with his bestfriend Leon, and Aerith's other close friend, Tifa-grrrrr- is Cloud's childhood friend who is also in love with Cloud. There's even more drama behind that story, trust me. One big soap opera right? The Soap opera of Radiant Garden...of Yuffie Kisaragi's life...of my life.


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, here is the LONG awaited chapter 3. I feel horrible because this has been super short and I want to give more to my readers than just snippets of whats to come-although some entries of Yuffie's dairy will be short, not nearly as short as the last chapter. Don't worry about that. This chapter is a long time coming but you guys deserved something good for waiting so long. Once again, I'm super sorry for not updating this in months. I really hope you all enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 3

Febuary 19

White, white, white....it's all I ever see but its one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen. Winter feels so cold and untrusting as if we'd distrupt the beauty it blankets us with if we trampel through it. When snow coats the ground, I never run. I just step lightly...hearing the white clear crystals crunch beneath my feet. It seems like the cold bitter beauty has lasted forever. But I really don't mind all that much....the sights that winter gives us makes the harshness of the cold all the more worth it. Today was even more beautiful than most days during the cold months of winter because Cloud came back and I swear he was an angel of darkness standing there in the Great Maw. My breath hitched as I watched him stand there, surrounded by endless snowflakes, they seemed to create a halo effect. If I ever thought Cloud Strife glowed then I had seriously underestimated him. I hated myself for the way he made me feel but things have been so different now then they were before when he was gone. It kills me now to seem him gone-not here in Radiant Garden. My heart beats so much faster for him than the heat of battle- and that right there used to be my rush. Now all I see is Cloud and his killer good looks.

"Yuffie." I just about died when he whispered my name like that. I think I was imagining the huskiness directed toward me but it was there no matter how I entertained the thought of him saying my name like I was his......and his alone. As much as I want to kick my own ass for wanting that, I won't deny it anymore. I'm in love with Cloud Strife and there's nothing I can ever do to get this feeling out of my system along with the chocobo head, too. This sucks, majorly. I think what hurts the most is that I know he just looks at me like I'm a child like Leon does even though I'm eighteen. Seriously, come on. I have my moments...ok I have ALOT of moments but can they blame me? Acting like a child allows me to not think about the reality of our lives and how much has been stolen from us. Is it that hard to see past? I hate it myself but I just can't go back...I can't. It was the most horrible experience I've ever been through and sometimes I wonder if its worth living only having to relive it time and time again. I still have the nightmares....

Nightmare number 1( take a look at this shit and this is what I have to live with everynight.)

I'm constantly screaming...but no sound comes out. Its an out of body experience because I can see myself doing this. I'm surrounded by complete darkness and that scares me.

"Yuffie....! Come out and play with us little girl. You will never get away from your past and we will haunt you to the very ends of the world. We will devour your heart and the hearts of your precious friends." A very cacklily feminine voice whispered in my ear and I whipped around so fast but nothing was there. The heartless...her. Shes coming for me and I can't escape I can't ever get away from her!

"Wait and see..." I could feel her smirking behind me. It was a terrifying feeling, so cold yet it burned fiercely. How does that even work?

"Wait and see!" She cackled once more, the laugh itself was even more bonechilling than her damn smirk. Why does this damn heartless effect me so damn much and how the hell do I know shes a girl??

"Because I am you." The heartless appeared before me...decked out in clothes that would rival the darkness itself. Her hair was long and beautiful..the perfect image of a horriblely demented and disturbing Tifa, only...she wasn't Tifa. She was me. Then she tore my heart out of my body and devoured it while it was still attached to my body.

I could feel every bite, every grip she had on my heart became worse as she held my life, pumping in her hand. Everything went black and the last thing I saw was her smirk as she ate my heart whole.

Nightmare finished

I had this dream every night, it was my living hell and something I vowed to_ never _let happen to me. EVER. I would not become a heartless. I couldn't. I felt the wet trail of tears fall down my face as I continued to see Cloud in front of me. Gazing at me, questioning me and what was going on inside this little body I called mine. His gaze...it was like a wild fire spreading across my skin. Scorching and determined. It was extremely erotic and I couldn't help but want to shout at him to stop. Stop making me feel this way about him and take everything away. I HATED that I loved him. I hated myself for falling in love with someone who, once again, could never love me back.

"DAMNIT!" I cursed, the tears threatening to fall from my eyes. Why did he have to make me fall in love with him? Everything about him...the way he stood, the way his hair was perfectly spiky and his flawless skin. The perfection rolling off of him in waves. The determination and fierceness that always blazed passionately in his eyes. His views on life, no matter how dim and dark they are, the causes he fought for and mostly the way I would imagine he looked at me. I'm such a fool to think that this man would even look at a child like me. I realized we were both staring at each other as he raised a thin blonde eyebrow at my actions and I quickly looked away from his crystal clear blue eyes.

'Fuck' I remember thinking as I ran away from him. From everything, from my feelings, from reality and most of all...from the man I had come to love-Cloud Strife. I knew he wouldn't outright ask me of my actions if we ran into each other around Radiant Garden. This thing....this love for him....it was killing me. Why did I have to fall so hard for him, damnit? I just don't understand how the hell it even happened either. Why me? Most of all, why Cloud?

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Yuffie closed the diary softly, almost delicately as if the book would break and she sighed heavily.

"Cloud...why you?" She whispered dejectedly as she looked at the diary longingly.

'Why did it have to be him, of all people...why Cloud?' She stood up quickly, her stance clumsy. She did not feel like being the greatest Ninja in the world right now. She was just the teenager with the most complex emotions she would never be able to figure out-she was just Yuffie in that one instant and no one could take that away from her. She walked out of that small room that was her own. She shared an apartment in the Borough with Aerith. Everything was so innocent in that tiny little apartment- nothing that was Yuffie. Yuffie was darker than the innocence that was Aerith, she was afraid of tainting the older woman with her darkness.

Aerith was light and Yuffie was darkness....she always had been and maybe thats why she would invebitably become what she hated- the darkness that she constantly fought, the darkness that vigorously tried to conquer her, the darkness that threatened to swallow her completely along with everything that was sanity in her head. As much as she tried to fight it, the more she fell deeper into it's endless depths. Yuffie was always dark, ever since her world was swallowed by the thing she always told herself she hated, but the more she tried to deny it- the more it took her over. She only realized that she was too far in to try to save herself now. It was over for her and she didn't even know how the hell it all happened.

As the young ninja walked slowly down the street, her steps heavy, as she trudged on in deep thought about her life and everything that surrounded it. Every person, everything and most of all Cloud. They shared one thing in common.....they both were fighting their darkness. He'd been fighting so much longer and so much harder than she had and Yuffie admired his strength- it was one of the things that made her fall in love with him. She realized why she was attracted to him but still not how it happened or when it even started but she didn't think it ever end. She was head over heels for the blond warrior.

Once again the being that plagued her thoughts, somehow would up in her reality.

"Yuffie." His velvety, firm voice called out to her practically demanding an answer for her recent behavior. She quickly turned away on instinct, fully ready to run from the man she loved, only for him to catch her arm rather roughly. He held her there, his grip stronger than iron. Everything about the look in his eyes to the way he stood screamed 'run!' to Yuffie's senses but she stood there like a deer in headlights, knowing it was going to die but it just couldn't find the strength to run the hell away.

"Cloud..." She whispered weakly, her voice meek and barely audible....barely even noticable. He didn't have to say the words, just the look he gave her, a single look telling her to answer him now otherwise she'd be wishing she did.

"I-I was just going to see Aerith. I have to go. Could you please let me-go?" She struggled in his grip, only making him tighten it and adding even more pressure to her now bruised arm.

"Do I look stupid, Yuffie?" He looked at her with such and intensity, the glares he sent her before seemed like child's play to the death glare he was giving her now. His gaze sent shivers down her spine, made her cringe in fear and pleasure she didn't know she could feel with a look like that. His eyes, god, his eyes. Those crystal ocean blue eyes darkening as his gaze burned into her- a predatory gleam. A promise of what was to come. She once again shivered in fear,

"I never said that!" Yuffie fired back, finally finding her confidence and fire enough to be able to defend herself against him, even if only for a single monumental moment and suddenly she found herself pinned up against the wall. While there absolutely nothing sexual whatsoever in his hold- his fingers clutching at her small throat in one of his hands she couldn't help but take it that way. The other hand leaning on the wall next to her head. His face was so close to hers...so close. His legs in between her smaller, more feminine ones that were spread to accomadate his and also in fear because there was no where else to hide, no where else she could escape to.

"Why are you-?" She questioned but before she could even finish her sentence he cut her off,

"Stop following me, Yuffie." Somehow she knew that was the only warning she would get from him and if she chose not to listen there _would _be consequences, severe consequences. Once again, before she could realize what happened she was on the floor across from him. Battered and broken on the floor, she gazed up in horror at him...tears threatening to spill out of her brown orbs. He glared down hatefully at her as if she was lower than the dirt on his shoes. In that one moment, she felt just that.

"I hate you." She whispered, clutching her chest as she returned the glare, but not as fiercely. No one could muster Cloud's glare. NO ONE. He walked away, silent as ever and never looking back at the broken girl behind him.

"Grow up, Yuffie. Hate is just another emotion you can't express properly." She heard him mock her as he continued to walk away.

Okay! there's the chapter. It's two thousand words and I hope you guys really like it. It's much darker than the others but I'll get into it more later and why he looks down on Yuffie so much.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello everyone! I feel horrible for not updating in sooo long. It's been almost a year I believe....wow, I imagine some of you will want to murder me for not doing so in the past year. hehe- sorry :) But heres the update and I hope you all enjoy it.

Chapter 4

"Why...? WHY! Cloud- I can't ever hate you. As much as I've tried...I just can't." I sobbed quietly on the floor of where Cloud confronted her and completely tore her down in one sentence. How was he able to cut her so hard and deep? Why is it only you that can get under my skin and hurt me the most? Why you, Cloud Strife...why you? I knew I looked utterly pathetic and distraught. I had absolutely no idea how long I'd been sitting here in a collapsed heap of limbs, on the dirty concrete. But right now, I just couldn't make myself care. But when does Yuffie the Greatest Ninja in the World ever care about a trivial thing as getting dirty eh? Pretty much never unless I get new clothes...which is pretty much never too. But I'm rambling- and I only ramble when I try to distract myself from a pity party. Which is exactly what I happen to be doing right now. As much as I try, I can't stop the tears from drowning my eyes, I just can't. It seems like no matter what I do, I can't get Cloud out of my head and what he said. Those words cut me deeper than his sword ever could. Even if he murdered me in cold blood...I couldn't hate him. I'd be glad it was him that put me out of my misery, although he was the cause of that said misery, I would still be glad it was him. I know, I'm- sick, twisted, fucked up, screwy, disgusting, demented and any other word you would like to add to the ever growing list of Yuffie Kisaragi's fucked upness. Yup, that's me- little fucked up girl in the corner that everyone thinks is crazy. Well, I have to agree...I'm only crazy when the topic of Cloud Strife comes up. Yup, that's about the only thing that makes me go Bonkers. I'm rambling again...ugh I really need to find a way to stop that bad habit. Everyone always yells at me for it...even him.

"Why are you still here?" I jerked my head up in shock at his voice, to see Cloud Strife looking down at me with mild intrigue. I had to stop my eyes from softening and crying even more. I won't let him see just how much his words hurt me.

"Why the hell would you care!? It's none of your damn business- just leave me alone. Can't I just FUCKING have my own damn-" Cloud interrupted my rant to squat down and look at me. His face inches from mine....I couldn't breathe.

"Why are you crying, Yuffie?" He asked me quietly, as if he actually cared. SURE.

"Take a fucking guess, Cloud." His face showed no surprise, but his eyes flashed in shock of my vocabulary but as quick as it had come- it was gone.

"Was it what I said?" He continued to stare at me as I my gaze traveled to the floor, away from his beautiful blue eyes- ones I could just get lost in forever. I couldn't look at him, because I knew for sure that he'd be able to tell I was lying. I cannot have him inside my head, reading everything there is to read about me- nope sure as HELL won't have that.

"Was it what I said, Yuffie?" He repeated and grabbed my chin, making my head swivel around to look at him. He just wouldn't let me sulk, would he? Damn chocobo head.....

"None of your damn business....why do you even care, Cloud? My life has nothing to do with you," LIE...Lie...lie. "I hate you! You think I'm a piece of shit compared to everyone else- that I'm not good enough! Well you know what, I'm tired of acting, I'm tired of trying to put on a happy face for everyone else and their piece of shit mother. Well forgive me for being selfish once in a while....forgive me for being human." The tears broke me down again, stupid waterworks. Great now I'm gonna have a headache from hell trying to eat my brain. Wonderfuckingful. I squirmed out of his grasp enough to get up and try to get around his massive body but Mr. Chocobo head decided he wasn't done with me just yet. Cloud slung me around him and back on to the floor so quick that I could barely register that was happening.

He had me pinned beneath him, the wall sandwiching me to him. God, did I hate walls. Damn bricks. Cloud's gaze was piercing to say the least...it was almost thoughtful and contemplative. But I wouldn't let hope grab a hold of me. NOT now, please not now.

"Yuffie. I said what I said for a reason..." His gaze traveled to floor as he continued somewhat unsurely,

"I'm sorry if that hurt you. I don't want you meddling with something you can't handle. That was the only way to make you back off so you won't get hurt." I was shocked at his confession, but anger flared up instantly as I channeled it fired it right back at him-

"So you're telling me...you completely tore me down and made me feel lower than low so I wouldn't get _hurt? _Are you fucking KIDDING me, Cloud! I'm not a little girl anymore! I can't deal with you're constant mood swings....you hate me one minute and then the next you're telling me its for my own good so just deal with it! No, I'm not gonna just deal with it....I can't just _deal with it. _Why are you pushing me away, Cloud...just like you did Aerith." I choked back a sob as I turned away from him, as if that would hide my scorned heart from him. Cloud's hand clenched my shoulder gently as he pulled my body to him and held me there.

"Yuffie..I-"I shook my head, my fingers wriggling in the hem of my khaki shorts. I was nervous and my emotions were running wild. I hate not having control over myself. I _hate _the way he can just take control of _me. _I **_hate _**it.

"Don't Cloud, Please...just don't. I don't want to hear it, I don't want to hear you reject me. I know you're not stupid...it's just-"

"I'm not rejecting you, Yuffie. I don't want you to get hurt. Having feelings for me will hurt you." That effectively shut me up. I starred in awe at Cloud Strife. My breath hitched as I gazed at the man I was head over heels for and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

"Cloud, I'm not as fragile as everyone makes me out to be.....I'm not Aerith." I finished cautiously. Unsure of how he would react to that statement, I slowly reached for his hand. He intertwined his fingers with mine. I tried so hide my smile, and I leaned up and quickly touched his lips with my own. He was surprised, I could feel it as his body went rigid. My had snaked up his shoulder to thread into his hair. I can't believe this...he actually kissing me back. I felt the warmth of his hand diminish and was replaced with his hands under my thighs.

Woah. Cloud's groping!? I stifled a squeak as he lifted me up from the ground to pin me up against the wall, wrapping my legs around his waist. I wrapped my free arm around his shoulder, bringing him as close as my our bodies would allow. My legs holding him captive against me. He switched his hold on me, using one arm he held me up. The other hand exploring the small curves of my body- I shivered uncontrollably as my breath hitched in my throat. This couldn't possibly be happening....

"Yuffie." Cloud groaned out as he kissed, nipped and bit his way down my neck. I swear to god that I could not breathe.

"Yuffie.." He said once more and my vison was getting hazy and everything around me was blurring.

"Yuffie!" I felt a sharp pain in my side as I blinked my eyes open to see the man haunting my dreams openly glaring knifes into me. I knew it was too good to be true....

"WHAT!" I screamed at him. He blinked twice before replying.

"Get up."

"Oh so now I'm supposed to take your orders chocobo head?" I spat back at his command. The next thing I knew I was being hauled up from the ground at a rapidly fast pace and being slammed against the same wall we..NO. I will not think about that.

"Do not tempt me, Yuffie." He snarled, anger blazing hotly in his ocean blue eyes. But his tone was so cold and had a edge that I was sure would cut me if I touched.

"Tempt you to do what, Cloud? What could you _possibly _do?" I mocked sarcastically as he glared very sharp daggers into me at comment. But at the moment I had a major death wish so I couldn't care less. Whats the worst he could do, honestly? Kill me? I wanted to die anyways, might as well get this over with. I had nothing to live for anymore and definitely not the man who just shattered my world. I was going to write music tonight if I survived through this. Yup, that's what I'll do. Then I was being whipped around again, really! Whats with all the throwing Yuffie around today....honestly, what the hell people.

"Get away from me, Yuffie, before I really do actually kill you." I picked myself up off the floor to smirk at him and shot back,

"Fuck you too, Cloud." I booked it before he changed his mind. I had my trademark smirk plastered on my face. I'm still alive I guess and I wasn't going to spoil my good mood with Cloud's words. I held my tears at bay and I was pretty damn proud of myself. No one, especially not Cloud Strife, was gonna hurt me anymore. I refuse to cry over that egotistical jackass of a chocobo head....stupid fucker.

So, I walked with a pep in my step, hands in my pockets and singing the whole way home. Nope- Cloudie wasn't gonna ruin this. I let my feet carry me to wherever they wanted to go and somehow I made it to Ansems lab and to Leon. Ok...ay. That was kinda weird. Usually my feet take me to Chocobo head but not his time I guess.

He looked over to see who was at the door and his eyes widened as I waved. He rushed over me and I couldn't understand why the hell he would.

"Yuffie! What happened...who did this to you?" I laughed..oh I must have looked like hell and I looked down to make the confirmation. Yup, bruises everywhere and cuts here and there my hair felt poofy and big- yuck.

"No one, Leon. I tripped in the great maw. Not a good place to trip, I'll tell ya." I winked, hoping to convince him of anything.

"Don't lie to me, Yuffie! I know someone did this to you...tell me." He finished a bit quieter, gently touching my arm. I was in awe at how tender he was being with me...maybe there was something to Squallie after all. Then Cloudie had to ruin it all!

"What's Yuffie lying about now?" His voice echoed through the room, god....why the hell did he have to look so angelic but act so devilish? I fucking hate irony. I glared at him, hoping and praying Leon wouldn't notice cause it will completely blow up in my face if he does. I know Cloud felt my glare as he strode past me as I leaned against the door frame. Stupid Chocobo head. Dirty fucker.

Leon looked back and forth between the two of us while I fidgeted uncomfortably as Cloudie starred unnervingly into me- and I did the thing I was best at....I bolted. I felt the wind rush past me and I actually felt much better. The tension was eating that room alive and was nipping at my skin-I had to get out of there....there was too much for me.

"Yuffie!" I heard Squallie call after me, but there was no way in hell I was going back there. Not a fucking heartless from hell could drag me back in there. NO way and no thanks cause I'll 'take a pass on that one. Hell, I'd rather eat bugs then- ok no I will not eat bugs because that's just gross and nasty. Yucky.

"Ugh..." I could hear my own panting as I found myself outside Postern starring out at the Great Maw. I'm pretty fast, eh? I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder pulling me back- I instantly reacted. Swiftly transferring the weight of the person over my shoulder- only having it turned against me and I quickly found myself on the floor. How that happened well I just have no idea. Guess who!

"Yuffie. Why was Leon asking you if you were lying?" Stupid chocobo head....who's stalking who _now_?

"None of you fucking business, Cloud. Now get the hell off me." I spat out, definitely putting it out there that I didn't want him on top of me when secretly I did...but not right now. Not with that attitude, either.

"A please would be nice." He smirked...the fucker SMIRKED! dammit...

"Fuck you." I hissed as his hand squeezed tighter around my throat and I was bluntly gasping for air and squirming beneath him. His smirk grew wider, who knew Cloudie could be so sadistic! Well it's not to far from his ballpark if I do say so myself.

"You...ass...hole" I ground out as I glared up at him intensely. I poured every ounce of my hate into that one look. By dammit, he was gonna let me go!

"Let..me..GO!" I managed to scream out, pushing him off me with such incredible strength that even I was blown away. I scrambled up off the floor and booked it. Merlin's was my destination. I need to get the hell outta here and away from psychotic version of chocobo head. I think he lost his mind and went all wacko on me! Not good. He was on my tails and shit I didn't know what to do except run like a bat outta hell.

To say I was scared was an understatement, I was _terrified_. By now, I was off course and I was cornered...this was _bad_. He was backing me into a wall..I looked around frantically around me. The other exit was blocked. The giant crystals had overgrown and covered the other exit_. sh...it_. He was blocking the other. I was trapped and I could do nothing about it.

"Cloud...why? Why are you doing this to me..." I whispered coursely in horror as he slowly inched closer and making me inch farther away from him and me inching closer to the wall. Oh my god...what do I DO!?

"Because I can, Yuffie. I can do anything I want to you because you want it." I starred at him, my mouth gaping open in shock. I can't believe he just said that. Who the hell does he think he is! He was getting closer and I was crushed against the wall. This was getting to be painful...not fun.

"Yuffie..." Cloud drawled out. His tone hooded in lust. Oh my god...what was he going to do to me!?

"Cloud...please-" He crushed his lips down on mine and I felt my knees crashing to the floor. Suddenly his arms were wrapping my knees around his waist and I found myself wrapping my arms around his neck...practically begging for more. What the hell was I doing!? But I just can't stop..he- it feels too good.

"Cloud.." I moaned out as he grinded against me and pushing me into the wall. I never knew being rough could be so-erotic. Holy mother chunker.

"Yuffie! Cloud!?" We both turned around to look at the familar voice..

"Leon!" I shouted as he stood there shaking with anger.

Well there you go! Theres the chapter :) Hope you guys liked it. Review!!! I'll update the next chapter soon, I promise. But everything with school coming up and my life's problem can kind of hinder that process. But I'll do my best to try to update more often. So like any other author- I love the reviews and any critism. So feel free to give it but please no flames. That's just ridiculous and if you don't like it- then don't read it. Doesn't make anyone feel better to sit there and put down an author on their work. That's just rude and unecessary and completely out of line. So once again...please no flames.


	5. Chapter 5

"Leon!" I shouted out, desperately trying to break out of Cloud's grip. I can't believe this...ugh. Shitttt. I cursed in my head. Luckily, Cloud let me go and I flew out of his grasp and started to chase after Leon. I finally caught up with him.

"Leon-" I put a hand on his shoulder, silently begging him to turn around. Any kind of response would be amazing, in fact. But he just stood there, motionless. He looked like the picture perfect statue that was carved from marble. Leon was just as perfect as Cloud and I was amazed by his compassion and tender heartedness for me today. It spoke volumes to me- and when I say "Volumes" I mean enormous spaztastic sound waves! I wanted to giggle at that thought but now was NOT the time for insane giggling.

"Cloud did this to you? He's the one isn't he, Yuffie?" He turned around to face me and the look in his eye promised death to whoever hurt me. I was speechless as I gawked at him, what in the seven hells of chocobos? Leon moved closer to me and shook me the shoulders gently. Keeping in mind the bruises that chocobo head over there gave me.

"Cloud's a little messed up right now, Leon." I replied after I found my voice, pleading him not to do anything rash.

"Why are you defending him! He **_hurt _**you, Yuffie!"

"No...he didn't Leon, it wasn't him. It was his darkness. Not Cloud." I shook my head, tears threatening to spill from my eyes.

"Yes it was, Yuffie. I can't sit here and do nothing while he continues to take advantage of you! NO!"

"Why do you care so much, Squall? I thought I meant nothing to you! Why are you suddenly trying to protect me?" I sobbed out as tears flooded down my face. My arms were flailing in every which direction as I spoke those three sentences. I was a nervous wreck and I didn't think I could deal with two emotional challenged men suddenly having mood swings like a pregnant women. Holy fucking Chesus. Leon looked away, ashamed of his behavior toward me up until today,

"Yuffie...I've always cared about you- I was just to afraid to let anyone in. But I won't stand here and let him hurt you like this.......Why won't you-"

"I love him, Leon. There's nothing I _can _do. Trust me- if I could get rid of these damn feelings, I would burn them alive myself. But the truth of the matter is that I can't. I feel what I feel for that stupid chocobo head and I can't ever change that. I love him too much and I care about him too deeply." I finished, my head facing the floor while Leon just starred at me in shock. He looked at me as if I'd matured to adulthood with in the span of a minute. Which was completely overexagerated, by the way.

"You're in love with Cloud, then?" I nodded solemnly, and I slowly heard a pair of footsteps making their way to the other exit out of the Crystal Fissure. I exhaled the breath I didn't know I held. A hand slowly found its way to the curve of my back..

"Cloud, I-"

"What did he say?" I looked at him in surprise...I'd have thought he'd hear the whole conversation, but apparently he didn't hear a word. Which was amazing for me, I couldn't let him know just how I felt-no way in hell that he could find out.

"Nothing...he was just upset to see you treating me like that." Cloud gazed at me with an unidentifiable emotion visible to me in his eyes. I wasn't sure what to make of that.

"Yuffie. I'm sorry- for treating you this way. You deserve much better and you are a friend that's helped me through alot. Back there- forget it. I let my darkness control me and you were just there at the wrong place and the wrong time. I'm sorry you had to see me like that. Please, just don't take it personally." He confessed quietly but firmly. I openly gaped at him and there was nothing I could do to hide it.

"Friends don't do that, Cloud."

"I know that and I'm sorry. It got a hold of me and in my right mind.....I never would have said any of those things to you or act the way I did. You mean alot to me and I'd never want to put you through that again." He finished, gazing at me comfortingly. I moved closer to him and embraced him softly. I felt him return it in a friendly gesture but it was quick. He was only explaining what happened today and it was nothing more. Tomorrow he would be the more reserved and distant Cloud we all knew. I felt a pang in my heart at that. I didn't want to go back to the reserve and distance between us. He started to walk away but I caught his wrist-

"Cloud...please don't ask me to forget. I don't want to forget what you made me feel....." He looked at me in surprise for a spilt second, but it was gone within the next.

"Why don't you want to forget, Yuffie?"

"Because- Because I- I care about you, Cloud. Probably more than most here and I just wanted you to know that. Please don't ask me to forget something that opened my eyes." He nodded in acknowledgement as he walked away and this time- I didn't stop him.

"God dammit!" I screamed out in frustration as I sunk to the floor in a heap of limbs, why couldn't I just have the guts to tell him!? WHY? _why...? _

"Don't ask me to forget the first time the man I love kissed me, Cloud." I whispered out softly as I cried out all my tears of frustration, confusion and hurt. I couldn't forget this and I wouldn't forget this.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Yuffie? Where have you been!" Aerith questioning tone agitated me. I wasn't in the mood for that....not after what happened today. Just not _today. _

"I was out Aerith. I'm eighteen now and I don't think I need to be answering curfew calls anymore." I ground out sarcastically as I marched my to my room and I didn't make eye contact with the blonde I was irrocavably in love with as I strode past him and the others.

"Yuffie- wait! Are you coming back down for dinner?" Aerith dismissed the little comment I made and to be honest I didn't care what the hell she did.

"No, but thats for the offer." I answered politely as I quickly shut the door. A shower was in order, that much was for sure. No one was going to take that away from me, tonight. I stepped into the medium sized bathroom and flicked on the water in the tub. I waited for the water to warm up before I turned on the shower. Once it was the right temperature for my tastes, I stripped off my soiled clothing and let the water wash away my pain. The hot water felt so good to my tense and aching muscles. I way over did it today, and I didn't need the queen of flowers and everything pure in the world to tell me otherwise. Obviously, tonight was sarcastic emo comedy night. But, I was too damn depressed to laugh at my own expense as that was my usual routine but that was out of the question right now. The only thing that would help me was to let the melody flow through my body and out of my heart.

"Listen baby to what I say  
You only want what you've thrown away  
Broken tables  
you're unstable

Listen honey, listen well  
I'm only your's as soon as you get well  
You're designer,  
nothing finer

Looks like someone has won  
these pirate games  
I'm loading up your gun  
ready to take all the blame

But still I play along  
while sinking in the sand I find  
but no I am not moving  
this checkmate is the last time.

It's just how high you climb  
theres ivory in this spine.  
be cleaning up tomorrow  
keeping what you've left behind.

You need a little faith to shine  
to know the sun will set  
It will be dark by eight  
and winter's as cold as it gets

Wanna make you hear  
Gotta walk away  
Wanna make you dance  
Gotta move this way  
Wanna hear you breathe  
Without a doubt  
Wanna make you sing  
Wanna make you shout

Listen baby to what I say  
You only want what you've thrown away  
Broken tables,  
you're unstable

Listen honey, listen well  
I'm only your's as soon as you get well  
You're designer  
nothing finer

No I'm not in denial  
I see my violins  
it's taking you awhile  
watching all this soaking in  
was never made of tin  
can't keep it up no more  
but like it's always been  
I'm sleeping underneath your door.

Gunna stop my heart  
It's running wild  
Gotta tie a knot  
No I ain't no child

Listen baby to what I say  
you only want what you've thrown away  
broken tables  
you're unstable.

Listen closer, ear to a can  
I'm only here under command  
Got three wishes  
clean your dishes

I don't mind that baby  
I don't mind that lately  
If you]re coming my way  
I don't mind  
I don't mind

I don't mind that baby  
I don't mind that lately  
If you're coming my way  
I don't mind  
I don't mind

Listen baby to what I say  
You only want what you've thrown away  
broken tables  
you're unstable." I finished. I needed to get a song out. That one had quite a bit of potential. I was pretty proud of what my heart just spit out at me. Tears slipped down my face as a smile tugged at my lips. It wasn't one of those "I couldn't be happier!" it was one of those heartwrenching broken smiles, the ones that made you want to cry, too. I slowly wrapped the towel around my figure and made my way back into my room to find a note on my dresser- next to my Wutianese candle assortment and my potted plant with the Wutianese character for strength carved into the small glazed charcoal jar.

"I hope you can forgive me, Yuffie.

P.S.- maybe you can sing for once and you won't actually be sad while doing it." I dropped the piece of paper....so he knew I only sang when I was sad. There goes my one secret no one else knew about me. I had a hand trembling over my mouth and my towel had long since dropped as I stood there, eyeing the small piece of paper as it if were- no I wouldn't mention his name. Just thinking about it sent involuntary shivers down my spine, and not the good kind, either.

I decided to climb into bed and let the night take its course on its own without me. I felt the plush pillow beneath my head and I was asleep within the next 10 to 15 minutes. Hopefully, chocobo head wouldn't haunt my dreams anymore. Tomorrow, would be time to get down to business.


End file.
